


Am I Too Big?

by diemarysues



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dwarves in the Shire, Female Bilbo, Female Thorin, Fingerfucking, Fucking, Multi, Oral Sex, Rule 63, Smut, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:16:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemarysues/pseuds/diemarysues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo's bed, lovely as it is, does come with certain flaws...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I Too Big?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alkjira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Bilbo, Nori, and the Royal Arse (and how they tapped that)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2702060) by [alkjira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira). 



> It's a Tuesday, I don't have school, and I've fallen sick. Pretty typical.
> 
> This is for alkjira, who is all sorts of lovely, and made excellent suggestions that were ~~stolen and~~ incorporated in this fic.

“Did I ever tell you that I almost propositioned you the night we first met?”

 

Bilbo blinked. “Excuse me?”

 

“The first night we met. After you said you weren’t going to sign the contract and join us.” He noted how this prompted Thorin to (cautiously, as ever) take Bilbo’s hand. “I thought that since it’d likely be a long time until we’d be in proper beds, and since it was likely we’d never meet again, then you might say yes to a fuck.”

 

Thorin snorted. “Very eloquent.”

 

“Glad you think so.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “What makes you think Bilbo would’ve said yes? Seemed to me she was a tad overwhelmed.” Thorin ignored the sharp elbow to her side as surely as she ignored Bilbo’s mutterings about Bofur being an idiot.

 

Nori grinned. “I merely thought she’d continue being an accommodating host. And both of us know how _accommodating_ she is, to cock and fingers both.”

 

“You’re horrid, the pair of you.” Bilbo didn’t look to mind so much – her tone was cross but the blush dusted over her freckles was not one of anger. She returned to the pile of books by the armchair. Her self-assigned task was putting them away into their shelves, but so far she’d just shuffled their arrangement after reading random pages. “Are you going to help with cleaning, or –?”

 

“You didn’t end up asking for a fuck,” Thorin interrupted. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her – admittedly lovely but sadly clothed – chest. “Obviously.”

 

“Wasn’t _quite_ sure of my welcome.” He sighed mournfully. “I took care of it.”

 

“Ah.” Thorin’s pale lips twisted into a smirk. Nori wanted to taste it. “So that’s where you went.”

 

“Went?” Bilbo distractedly looked up from a book bound in green leather. She was kneeling on the carpet, which was all sorts of distracting in and of itself. “Went where?”

 

“Went outside,” Thorin drawled. “In the small hours of the morning, when everyone was asleep. Including you, my dear Hobbit.”

 

“I don’t know why I’m surprised you were keeping watch while in a Hobbit hole.” Nori’s lips twitched and he glanced at Bilbo –

 

She held up a forefinger. “I told you already, no jokes about Hobbits and holes. None.” Bilbo waited for another moment just to make sure he’d obey, before prompting: “Where did you go, then?”

 

“Weren’t you listening?” Thorin asked. “He said he went to ‘take care of it’.”

 

Bilbo was of course quick and clever, and they didn’t have to wait long for her to glare furiously. “You had a wank in my _garden_?”

 

Nori sat on the bed, sinking a little into its softness, and pulled his feet up to sit cross-legged. (Bilbo had already made it clear that boots were Not Allowed past the receiving room, so there were no potential lectures about making the sheets dirty. Though, that didn’t mean that they couldn’t make the sheets _dirty_ …) “You know, I’m sensing the complaint here is about the garden bit rather than the wanking.”

 

“Anyone could have walked by!”

 

Thorin made a dismissive noise. “It was late. And dark.”

 

“That doesn’t matter!”

 

“I didn’t think that Hobbits were the spying sort.” Nori smiled sunnily when he was treated to a scorching glare. “Bilbo, your house isn’t in the middle of some busy thoroughfare. No one would be skulking around there – as a matter of fact, no one was skulking around there.”

 

"If there was anyone around it would likely be because they were wondering who was causing such a ruckus in the first place!"

  
  
"I'm not loud," Nori protested. Well… not when he was trying to be discreet.

  
  
"I meant the - all of you," Bilbo huffed. "Singing songs and making noise."

  
  
"Not while we wank, though I could probably make up a little song about -"

  
  
"NO."

 

Thorin chuckled. “Are we saying that your cock is magnificent enough to be immortalised in song?”

 

He winked. “Why don’t you come here and find out?”

 

* * *

 

Since this was only the second day they’d been in the Shire and since they’d spent last night sleeping off the weariness of all the months of travel, they hadn’t actually been able to test Bilbo’s bed properly. It was soft and comfortable and big enough for the three of them – but not big enough for activities other than sleeping.

 

This Nori discovered when he rolled off Bilbo and tumbled onto the floor.

 

“Ow.”

 

First Bilbo’s then Thorin’s faces appeared over the edge of the bed. “How did you manage that?” Thorin asked.

 

“Too caught up in the image of Bilbo on top of me.” Nori pushed himself up off the floor.

 

“Are you alright? You didn’t hit your head on anything hard?”

 

He took extreme care not to snicker. “Hit my elbow but my cock is fine.”

 

“That _is_ the most important part of you.” It was impossible to tell if Bilbo was being sarcastic, though Thorin chuckled and pressed a kiss to the Hobbit’s bare shoulder. This turned into kisses over her skin, sweeping curly hair out of the way so she could sweep her lips up Bilbo’s neck and along her jaw.

 

Bilbo made an impatient sound and pushed at Thorin so that she could sprawl on her back. Loose dark hair cascaded over the edge of the bed. Bilbo climbed over Thorin, putting her hands over Thorin’s chest before leaning down and pressing their lips together. She made pleased sounds as she licked into Thorin’s mouth. Thorin’s moaning was softer but she shamelessly arched into Bilbo’s touch with colour high in her cheeks.

 

Nori watched this and fisted his most important body part.

 

He could not, however, spend very long with his hands only on himself. Not when he had two gorgeous lovers to put his fingers on – and in.

 

Given the bed’s size constraints, they started with Bilbo and Thorin on the bed, still kissing and petting each other, only on their sides so Nori could finger them at the same time. Like this Bilbo peaked twice though Thorin cheated on the second by rubbing over Bilbo’s pearl until she gasped and shook.

 

“N-not fair,” Bilbo’s voice trembled. She was very beautiful, legs spread and so wet for both of them.

 

“What’s not fair is that I can’t taste you.” Thorin’s fingers dipped lower and she slipped one in alongside Nori’s.

 

She detailed exactly what she wanted to do if her face was pressed between Bilbo’s legs. She did not speak like this very often – Nori was more vocal in this sense – and it was enough to affect him as well as Bilbo. He started fucking her with four fingers and bore the quick glare she shot at him. Sacrifices had to be made, and willingly so when Thorin’s voice became deeper and huskier.

 

Bilbo put her fingers over Thorin’s lips to still them, shuddering when Thorin started to suck on them. “I want your mouth on me,” she said, “but I also want Nori to take you. Can we?”

 

Nori wiggled his fingers and grinned when they moaned. “I think it can be arranged.”

 

* * *

 

“Fuck.”

 

Thorin was hot and snug as he slid his cock in and out of her, grinding in deep as he could go while still keeping his thrusts quick. He had her bent over the bed and bruisingly grasped her hips to keep her still – just the way she liked it. She wasn’t shy in her approval, only muffled since she was face first in Bilbo’s lap, licking as best she could between moans.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Nori said again, heartfelt.

 

He couldn’t really see what Thorin was doing, only that she was doing it well. Bilbo’s head was thrown back and her fingers pinched and tugged on her nipples as she squirmed on the sheets. She suddenly cried out, body seizing for the – Nori couldn’t remember how many times she’d come, actually. Watching Bilbo more than made up for this lapse, her thighs shaking and her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth curved upwards as she gasped and giggled.

 

“Beautiful,” he praised, and Thorin hummed in agreement.

 

She let off from her work, rubbing her beard against Bilbo. “You taste beautiful.” Thorin waited until hazel eyes opened and uncrossed. “Smell beautiful too.”

 

“I feel a little jealous.” He was much too far away to share Thorin’s observations and that was a pity. There was no hardship in enjoying the view, of course, but in the course of their time in the Shire they needed to find a flat surface big enough for the three of them to sprawl and partake of each other. Or they’d need to get creative. Nori looked forward to it.

 

Thorin threw a smirk over her shoulder. “You’ll get your turn.”

 

“You ought to –” Bilbo broke off, spine curving and hands twisting into the covers on either side of her head. “Yes,” she breathed, pushing down against Thorin’s three fingers. “Yes, please – oh!”

 

“What do you want me to do?” Nori asked, not realising that his hips had stilled until Thorin moved backwards and took him inside her completely. He felt the breath rush out of his lungs when she deliberately clenched around him.

 

“She wants you to fuck me properly,” Thorin ordered, turned to Nori. Bilbo neither confirmed nor denied this, but her eyes were also on him, dark and intent. “Make me come and then you can fuck Bilbo.”

 

And since that was nothing but a win-win-win situation, Nori bit his lip and started moving again. He slipped one hand over Thorin’s hip to reach between her legs.

**Author's Note:**

> yay threesomes!


End file.
